Telemarketers Up-selling You Into Poverty
Humanity has come a long way since the time our tiny brains got us to the top of the food chain and men wore tights. In spite of all the progress that we have made, we still have the unsavory habit of annoying the hell out of each other. Some people seem to even get off on just pressing others’ buttons. It’s a Darwinian nightmare. Be afraid of the one whose next meal is riding on you buying whatever it is they are selling. When you have to choose between going to bed hungry and annoying the hell out of a poor internet writer until she caves, the scales easily tip to the latter. Those bastards can be relentless. But hell I’m worse.
Telemarketers trying to up-sell you straight into poverty are the worst. Don’t get me wrong. I understand that telemarketers are people doing their best at a job that can drive anyone into giving their Glock 17 a blow j0b. They are just trying to make a living. But dammit can they be annoying, especially when they try to up-sell you on their many products, even when you politely say “thanks, but no thanks.” Case in Point: The responsible adult that I am, I have life insurance. You know, just in case my vices finally kill the crap out of me at a time I still have financial matters that need taking care of. Turns out my bank also offers life insurance.
These are the people who know where I live and have all my contact details. I would get about three to four phone calls a day from the most overzealous sales agents ever. I kept telling him; “dude I have life insurance already so no thank you.” But nooooo, he kept telling me they know, they just want me to supplement my life insurance. Why in God’s name would I want to do that? Have you ever been to a South African funeral? If you’ve ever been to a dead, black South African’s funeral you know that it looks like a feast. We slaughter a cow and sometimes even a sheep and a couple dozen chickens on the side and no I have no idea why.
What I’m saying is the funeral could cost a lot, and I don’t want my mom worrying about how she’s going to pay for all that while she’s devastated by the loss of her awesome princess. If I should buy the farm right now, all that would be taken care of, the little debt that I have would be paid off, and my mom would be set for life. I have only one life, getting more life insurance is not gonna make me die any less. It’s like someone asking me to insure a car I don’t have. When it makes financial sense, I’ll upgrade my life insurance to a couple million. Right now, I’m good with the couple hundred thousand life cover. And that, Mr. Telemarketer, is why you are stored as “TheFCUK” in my contacts list.
Miami Based, Internationally Known